she smiles sweetly

i took Lula to the vet at like 2a.m. Monday and didn't sleep at all that night and she died around 10am yesterday.

yesterday was also Jens birthday, i slept all day and she was at her new work but i did take her out to dinner which was a well needed meal!

its so hard to fake happy and to make yourself get out when you are so far down that black hole