so its been awhile since I've written i have been super lazy lately. It was all rainy and cold last week and i never wanted to leave my warm comfortable bed!

i have had a few changes I'm no longer blonde which is kinda sad but its just too hard to keep up with! oh and i finally did it i pierced my monroe.

i spent the weekend with my momma it had been awhile since I've seen her and Jeff. It was a really good weekend. I spent a lot of time just watching the giant herd of Elk oh and i happened upon the Kudu, ya Kudu in Texas! I love being our there ill just be sitting on the porch and when i look up i see these amazing animals swimming in our pond.

I've kinda been outta sorts lately. I think I'm just trying to figure out who i am again cause i feel like I'm loosing myself sometimes. It may sound dumb but it makes sense in to me. All will be okay soon i just gotta get some wonderful music and my life will be clear again!

well I'm am currently sitting at the library next to a what seems like homeless man who is copying poetry outta a book.

it seems like everyone i have meet so far is older then me by more then a year or two. I've been trying to figure out with this means. I can hold conversations with anyone and everyone without sounded like a fool so maybe its could have to do something with I'm a fairly educated person that has a worldly vibe. I don't know. I think it has to do with the way i was raised around adults, and in bars, and the gas stations my dad owned. I think I'm may have to look further into this before i make all these assumptions.

things are going very well so far. I made and A+ on my first paper. EXCITING! Oh i actually understand my government class. I just feel very confident in myself and my abilities lately. I think Ive had a boost of self confidence!

ah its been a long while with no internet.

I don't think i drove once this past weekend. It rained so much and i loved every second of it. Well except maybe the 30seconds when Brandon and I spun around on the highways in two complete circles in the rain. Possibly on of the scariest things to happen to me.

i honestly need to start working out or at least doing some sort of physical activity!
i thought i was going to fall backward when i was walking up the stairs, my legs were on fire! it may also have to deal with my hundred pound back on my back!

my precal class seems to last forever, and my professor likes to make jokes that aren't funny, and she puts herself down with kinda make me sad. But i could not handle being in there so long!

i went home for lunch and when i got there O.J. was playing with a peppermint and i don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time and then of course he's all in my face when he realizes that i have food. I have no idea how or why but every time i turn on the TV i end up watching Jerry springer... it makes me lose so much respect for America. I just can't believe how ignorant and crazy people can be.

i think this is the last ill be on the Internet today considering my beloved library is close on Thursdays...
i hope its raining tomorrow cause i am most definitely sleeping in .

had another late night at Ruta Maya, Brandons band didn't get to play on stage but they had this guitar circle jam session which was pretty cool.

Meet this older man named john who started the JadeSarahAnonymousJohnJohnDanielle club. Oh and made a movie about Brandon being President Anonymous. somehow there was a fire at the hospital when we were born and him and i were switched at birth and were raised in complete opposite environments and when he was running for president i was his photographer and something like that. It was a really long drawn out screenplay but it was totally awesome mainly cause all the music that was playing around us would have made such a great soundtrack.
Then Devendra Banharts twin showed up. No joke he looked just like him! ill put up the picture s tomorrow i forgot to put it on my computer today. He even had a really awesome voice like him.

this morning it was raining and it was probably the best sleep Ive had in a long time. So i had a wonderful breakfast of a few cookies and a bowl of Ramen Noodles yum! Its been a pretty uneventful day today. Had class around 3 and now I'm at the library sitting among these random lost souls enjoying a little literature.
Speaking of literature I just finished the Martin Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. It was so good. I never finish books withing a week but it was so good i couldn't put it down!

well I'm off to see what else the day has in store for me.

its been a long weekend with no Internet!

Friday i went back down to midlo and help my mom and jeff move more stuff out to the ranch. I really don't know how i get recruited to move stuff considering i can hardly lift anything too heavy.and that night we had wonderful steak! I've miss getting to have wonderful steak all the time.

Saturday was a kind of an emotionally tough day for me. It was my dads birthday. All i wanted to do was go take flowers to his grave site the whole day but we ended up having to move a lot of stuff and everyone was bickering at each other and i just wanted to lay down and cry. after several house of loading stuff into three cars mom and i went and put flowers at my dads grave and his parents grave. I wish he was still here. Its still so unfair to me, i just miss him so much that it just hurts my heart.

I went back to Austin on Sunday. I went a different way this time and it was so much scenery! i loved it. I just hung out with Jennifer and Asa had some amazing tacos and carrot cake! incredibly random much but oh well it tasted wonderful!

The most exciting part about Monday was going to Ruta Maya and seeing Brandon's band play. Its just him and a girl whose name i think is Danielle that could be wrong never the less she had such a wonderful and soulful voice it was amazing.

i could not sleep at all last night it was terrible. I just lay there wide awake till probably 4 in the morning. My first class was at 10 this morning and i thought i was going to just pass right out!
Tonight I'm supposed to go see Brandon play with another band I'm pretty excited I'm just going have to drink a lot of coffee to stay awake!


oh and I'm going through a black and white faze =]

i felt like such a little kid last night i took one of the cushions of the couch and my pillows off the bed and made a pallet on the floor of my room and watch The Life Aquatic (one of my all time favorite Wes Anderson movies besides the Royal Tenenbaums) on my laptop.

so Ive gone to one class so far. my precal class puts me to sleep! i think i need to get up maybe and hour earlier and do yoga or something so ill be awake and all full of energy so my brain is ready to learn! i sound like a commercial for breakfast food or something.

i don't think ill be going to the library tonight so ill have to finish writing about tonight tomorrow!
i know Jens boy is coming out sometime tonight and i might try to go to that drum circle but in reality no one knows what the day will bring.

wonderful

i don't know why but when i see someone who i think is really interesting or just someone i know i would probably get along with i get to nervous to even try to talk to them.i cant push the words out, they are all there stuck in my head i just cannot get them past my thoughts, its like i cant make anything verbal. its kinda of dumb cause i know once i start talking all will be okay its just that initial first step. I need to work on my self esteem so badly. I think its one of the big reasons i get stuck in a rut sometimes. I am no more flawed then the person next to me. so why should i worry. we are all humans.why should we feel less interesting then any other person? I'm kinda on a rant. I feel ashamed of myself for being timid, its not really who i am, but it come out sometimes.and i guess its who i am that day. As Marilyn Monroe put it "i just want to be wonderful."

i did not want to roll out of bed today
then i got to school and nowhere to park again...
i ended up parking 5 blocks away which isn't bad i need to start exercising more anyways

ah i was so exhausted in both of my classes today! i could hardly stay awake and my mind was totally off somewhere else. i hate that cause i tried so hard to pay attention.

after class i ended up hanging out with Brandon and went to this poetry reading thing and sat in on a guitar circle. I love how when i hear live music i can't help but smile. Then we went down to some bridge where a drum circle was supposed to be but i guess the drummers didn't show up that night. But there was a kid on the fiddle, an older man with a tambourine, a few guys with guitars and this girl who had such a wonderful soulful voice and they were just free styling it was one of the more interesting thins Ive seen in awhile.