first

im going to TRY to do a 365 blogg.
she smiles sweetly is one of my all time favorite rolling stones songs so i chose that for the title.
ive been throgh alot this year and it would be a great idea to document all my ups and downs for this next year. I am a procrastinator so ill try to write every day if not every other day.

First off I am a newly high school graduate, and no I do not know what I am going to be doing next year for school. Most likely community college, it seems to me to be the more intelligent thing for me to do, considering it is reasonably cheaper.

The main reason I wanted to start this blog was to see how I deal with the loss of my dad. His name was James M. Francis. He was diagnosed with brain cancer around November of 2005. I spent the next three and a half years in and out of nursing/assistive living homes making sure they were treating my daddy with the most respect. According to everyone who knew my dad and I, I was his Jadey baby I was his sunshine and the reason he held on so long. The last day I saw my dad was March 18 2009 on Wednesday. By that week I was the only one my dad would respond to, or the only subject he would open his eyes for. The next day he was gone. I cried so hard. It was the most surreal thing to ever happen. People have told me to prepare for him to be gone soon. But how tha hell to you prepare for something like this? I have a really close friend named Meagan who was with me when I found out. She has been around since I was 18 months old and she is probably the one of the only other person who understands how hard this has been besides my mom. Even though they were separated for over 11 years he still loved her till his last day.

I will write more on this subject quite often. If it wasn’t for Meagan I would definitely feel lost. My mother as well if it wasn’t for her I would still be in bed curled up with the sock monkey I gave my dad at Christmas that he names “Elvis”.

There are reasons why certain people are in your life and why some leave, I just wish I knew when they were coming and going. I love it when they are just there, there for you when you need it the most. There to make you smile when you cant even see through the sea of tears in your eyes.

This is just a little on why I started this blog. After all of this I still find some way to smile everyday. Even on my most horrific days there is a ray of sunshine that will make me smile.