peace of mind?

I need to find my peace of mind. I've been so out of sorts lately, I feel like I'm loosing myself to some kind of emptiness. I know that everyone is constantly changing but I think I maybe stuck... if thats possible? Or I'm just not noticing whats changed. My thoughts have been so out there.


while cleaning like crazy today i came across a lot of things that reminded me of old friends. People that I've drifted away from or that have drifted away from me. It makes me kinda of sad, because if i saw any of them today we probably wouldn't even say a word to each other. I'd probably just smile and wave and they would in return. I wish i knew who would be staying around and who wouldn't be. It would make life so much easier.

(12:06)
frozen pizza!

Rain in Dallas just makes me so happy.
It reminds me of when i was younger and my parents were still together, we lived in this old house on the M streets and every time it would rain i would go out in my swim suite and play in the streets.

my day started around noon, me and meg went to pick her car up from Daniels house, then went to breakfast with Olivia and Kaitlin. I think ihop is one of my favorite places to eat. Probably not the healthiest but stuffed french toast is so amazing.

Then i was back on the highway headed home.

I finished all four seasons of weeds and all that is out for season 5 before we headed to the new house.

I slept the whole way, I couldn't resist. When i wouldn't go to sleep as a baby one of my parents would put me in the car and drive me around until i would fall asleep. I think its drilled into my head to sleep in cars and i always get the best sleep.

I think were going to watch pulp fiction tonight yay!
My mom is dancing to boogie fever as she making a drink right now.


this is for Friday:

i went to the mall to find a dress for my elementary school reunion today!
forever 21 is one of the craziest busy stores, and so overwhelming with all the colors! They always have really good prices that make up for the craziness.

then i went home and watched weeds while i was getting ready.

My mind has been so blown!
Its been 6 years since we were in Elementary school, and looking at everyone now and remembering how we all looked back then seeing them now is so funny to me. We all have that same initial look we had back then but we are just bigger and older versions.

After Daniels we went to our friend Taylor's' house in the pouring rain. Running from Daniels front door to Sophia's car we were completely drenched. Then i had to run into 7-11, soaking wet standing in that freezing store was torture!

At Taylor's i think i spent to whole time talking to Jessica and Sophia, and renamed a few people.
It was a really funny, i guess the word would be funny, night.

when me and Meagan got back to her house i sat outside on the porch for awhile. It was the first time in so long that i felt content, i felt happy, i felt peace and it all way good.

when i went in Meg was already out. So i flipped through the TV stations till i found something interesting on, and i feel asleep to John Travolta's disco dancing self in Saturday Night Fever.

it was raining again when i woke up today

after laying on the couch for awhile i thought to myself , "jade, you should really try to work out why don't I go run today."
so i put my bright yellow tennies on, strapped my ipod to my shorts, stretched, and then i was off.
well i made it to the end of the second block and i was already having trouble breathing and my stupid headphones kept creeping out of my ear. With no fear i toughed it out. When i was back home i just laid in the middle of the living room floor and i could feel the heat steaming off me and the sweat rolling down my legs, so i ran a bubble bath. It was amazing.

Oh i picked up my little step brother today. Its been awhile since I've even got to even talk to him. On our way home i had to take back a broom to target and go get on at the dollar store. ya my family is cheap but who cares. While at dollar tree Jacob and i decided we would try a Klondike bar since neither of us have. The results are in and neither of us would do too much for one, but they were good i mean look at the smile on his face.

we then had a delightful dinner of taco bell and watch Cool Hand Luke. No doubt one of the most wonderful movies i have ever seen. Last year mom and i were at Austin City Limits when we found out that Paul Newman had died, so on my moms arm was "rest in peace cool hand Luke" and on my legs as well.

a true and sad fact of the day : finished season two of That 70's Show and season one of Weeds

for the past few days ive started watching Weeds from the beginning. I love this show, it makes me wish i had showtime. oh and i love the Transformers movies now.

I have been kinda outta sorts lately. I dont know why. I know something inside of me is a little off, i kinda feel numb... and its a bad numb. I am really not sure if its a bad thing though. Maybe my body is just overly excited about moving and its shutting down some of my other feelings.
Sometimes when i look back at the day i dont realize it was actually me. Weirdness.

If i don't take anything i think i could stay up all night with no problem.
Last night i didn't even realize that it was already near 4 in the morning before i thought of going to sleep. Another sign telling me i need to do more, i probably need to get out of the house. I enjoy doing nothing though, its a little sad.

I ran into a friend of mine Audrey today when i went to go buy a new broom. It was raining outside. I don't know what i was thinking about then i heard a familiar voice call my name, and there she was. Audrey was one of the only people who could actually make me feel better after my dad passed away. When i started to talk to her today i felt like crying. I have no idea why though. We weren't talking about anything sad i just felt like crying. Maybe my mind was exhausted and didn't want excel anymore.